Tuesday’s Child: Broken
It’s been a while, but we’re broken. Good and truly broken. She originally thought the pain she felt in her right scapula was stress from taking AP tests and prom and final exams and prepping for graduation and choosing a college–which are, frankly, stressful on their own–but a full week of pain told us something more was going on. An additional week using a sling and then splinting her arm to her torso didn’t improve anything, so to the doctor we go.
This has been a rough Spring for everyone, but my daughter has had the worst time of it. Family/academic/social stress are bad enough, but now she’s been taken completely out of commission. A person who uses a manual wheelchair can’t go anywhere on her own with one arm. She can’t scoot as she normally does, because it hurts. She can’t get herself food, can’t dress herself, can’t use the bathroom alone–she’s been returned to the wholly dependent state in which she existed when she first started preschool.
I *hate* this for her. I am so angry at the injustice of this situation I want to scream–but at whom? No one is at fault. She didn’t–as she likes to joke–get into a bar fight. All she did was bust her buns studying for finals. Maybe she spent too much time in one position. Maybe she didn’t get adequate rest. Maybe I picked her up wrong. We’ll never know.
So at this time when she should be enjoying her first real freedom, she’s lashed to my side, constantly in pain, and has to wear an ace bandage around her ribs on the outside of her clothes in 90+ degree heat. She had to wear a sling over her graduation gown. Nice way to start the summer after her senior year.
I know I complain a lot on here, and I should be sorry to add to it. But as much as we try to deal with our brittle bones involvement with dignity and strength, sometimes I *really* hate what it does to her. Two weeks ago, she was completely independent except for transportation. Now she’s COMPLETELY dependent. In two weeks this happened. Yes, I know she’ll get back there again, but damnit this isn’t fair.
I am grateful for this (you can tell I’m forcing myself, can’t you): we’ve gone all four years of high school without a significant fracture. That’s very good, and gives me great hope for her college years. The fractures have decreased in frequency and severity, as predicted. And maybe that’s why this is such a jolt for us. Maybe we’d take it more in stride–maybe I’d take it more in stride if fractures were still happening frequently.
Maybe someone out there in the OI world can help me make sense of this. I just can’t.